There is nothing like
young newlyweds starting their life together. You're young, you're in
love, and even though there isn't much money in the bank account yet,
life seems filled with promise. It all seems pretty simple. You get
married, add your new spouse's name to your joint checking account, and
you're ready to go.
Then life happens . . . You have
children, one person grows a business; you start to accumulate life
insurance, retirement accounts - even disability insurance. You may
experience a divorce. There may be step children - even children from
more than one marriage.
And, hardest of all, what happens when there is an untimely death of a spouse and, then, remarriage?
When my Mom was diagnosed with metastatic colon cancer almost four
years ago, one of the first things my parents did was visit their
estate planning attorney (it's not me!) to make sure their estate plan
was up to date and made sense in light of her situation. They had
worked with the same attorney for many years, but they still wanted to
make sure their plan would work for them. By the time my mom passed
away 15 months later, their planning was rock solid. From a financial
perspective, everything was taken care of.
My parents are
planners. In my practice as an estate planning lawyer, I've learned
that it is highly unusual for someone to receive a terminal cancer
diagnosis and think first of their estate planning attorney. In fact,
many people feel like they are "giving up" if they take care of their
estate planning in the face of a terminal illness.
I'm so
grateful that my parents were able to face these tough issues and take
action in the face of such a terrible diagnosis because I've seen what
can happen when people leave these decisions to their surviving family
members.
Why? Because my Mom and Dad's decisions have
given me and my siblings the tools we need to make sure our family
stays together in the long run. You see, my Dad has three children from
his first marriage, two children from his second marriage (I'm one of
them), and a third wife with a long time family business.
As
you can see, there's a lot of room for problems to arise if my Mom and
Dad hadn't set forth some clear instructions about EXACTLY what they
wanted to happen when each of them passed away.
They've already answered all those questions.
Who's in charge? We know.
Where does everything go? We know.
Who lives in which house for how long? We know.
What to expect regarding an inheritance? We already know.
Which lawyer to work with? We know.
Should my Dad's third wife expect support from him if he passes away first (or vice versa)? We all know what will happen.
Are the three children from my Dad's first marriage entitled to anything my mother received from her parents? There are clear instructions on this issue.
You see, when my Dad passes away (he's doing great right now!), I want
everything to be perfectly clear so that our family stays close
together and isn't torn apart through misunderstandings, confusion, or
resentment. I want my Dad and his new wife to enjoy their lives
together without the rest of the family (on both sides) worrying about
what will happen to his stuff or her stuff.
So, this Mother's Day, here's a thank you to my Mom and Dad for taking such good care of their family!
© 2009 The Estate Planning Law Group
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"© 2009 The Estate Planning Law Group. Written and edited by Kirsten Izatt and Bill Deitch. Bill and Kirsten's mission is to make the world a better place by providing a lifetime of ongoing guidance and counsel to people who want to make the very best decisions about how to plan for and protect their families through estate planning. Get their revealing, enlightening, and sometimes humorous "Family Wealth Builder" e-zine at www.FamilyWealthBuilderNewsletter.com."
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