The Estate Planning Law Group

Keeping the Family Together

There is nothing like young newlyweds starting their life together. You're young, you're in love, and even though there isn't much money in the bank account yet, life seems filled with promise. It all seems pretty simple. You get married, add your new spouse's name to your joint checking account, and you're ready to go.

Then life happens . . . You have children, one person grows a business; you start to accumulate life insurance, retirement accounts - even disability insurance. You may experience a divorce. There may be step children - even children from more than one marriage.

And, hardest of all, what happens when there is an untimely death of a spouse and, then, remarriage?

When my Mom was diagnosed with metastatic colon cancer almost four years ago, one of the first things my parents did was visit their estate planning attorney (it's not me!) to make sure their estate plan was up to date and made sense in light of her situation. They had worked with the same attorney for many years, but they still wanted to make sure their plan would work for them. By the time my mom passed away 15 months later, their planning was rock solid. From a financial perspective, everything was taken care of.

My parents are planners. In my practice as an estate planning lawyer, I've learned that it is highly unusual for someone to receive a terminal cancer diagnosis and think first of their estate planning attorney. In fact, many people feel like they are "giving up" if they take care of their estate planning in the face of a terminal illness.

I'm so grateful that my parents were able to face these tough issues and take action in the face of such a terrible diagnosis because I've seen what can happen when people leave these decisions to their surviving family members.

Why? Because my Mom and Dad's decisions have given me and my siblings the tools we need to make sure our family stays together in the long run. You see, my Dad has three children from his first marriage, two children from his second marriage (I'm one of them), and a third wife with a long time family business.

As you can see, there's a lot of room for problems to arise if my Mom and Dad hadn't set forth some clear instructions about EXACTLY what they wanted to happen when each of them passed away.

They've already answered all those questions.

Who's in charge? We know.

Where does everything go? We know.

Who lives in which house for how long? We know.

What to expect regarding an inheritance? We already know.

Which lawyer to work with? We know.

Should my Dad's third wife expect support from him if he passes away first (or vice versa)? We all know what will happen.

Are the three children from my Dad's first marriage entitled to anything my mother received from her parents? There are clear instructions on this issue.

You see, when my Dad passes away (he's doing great right now!), I want everything to be perfectly clear so that our family stays close together and isn't torn apart through misunderstandings, confusion, or resentment. I want my Dad and his new wife to enjoy their lives together without the rest of the family (on both sides) worrying about what will happen to his stuff or her stuff.

So, this Mother's Day, here's a thank you to my Mom and Dad for taking such good care of their family!

© 2009 The Estate Planning Law Group

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include everything in quotes with it:

"© 2009 The Estate Planning Law Group. Written and edited by Kirsten Izatt and Bill Deitch. Bill and Kirsten's mission is to make the world a better place by providing a lifetime of ongoing guidance and counsel to people who want to make the very best decisions about how to plan for and protect their families through estate planning. Get their revealing, enlightening, and sometimes humorous "Family Wealth Builder" e-zine at www.FamilyWealthBuilderNewsletter.com."

Visit to CoACH Care Center In Naperville, IL

So much has happened in the last month! To start things off, I attended the annual Day One Network fundraiser in St. Charles. Day One Network is one of the primary service providers for people who have disabilities in Kane County. They are a private, nonprofit, community-based agency that does service coordination and advocacy services to children and adults with developmental delays or disabilities. It has more than 3,000 clients in Kane and Kendall counties. When they started in 1989, the agency served 300 clients. You can find out more about the organization and event here.

I haven't done so yet, but I plan to profile Day One Network in the SNAP magazine sometime soon. I want to make sure that everyone who could benefit from their organization knows what services they offer. Keep your eyes open for the profile!

At the event, I was lucky enough to snag a gift basket with champagne, chocolate, macadamia nuts and a coupon for a free night at a hotel in Naperville. Now if we can only find a babysitter . . . !  I also tried to bid on a stay in Scottsdale, AZ, because my Dad lives close by, but I was quickly outbid. I guess Naperville will have to do!

Soon after the fundraiser, we were lucky enough to be able to get away to San Francisco/Monterey/San Jose for spring break. The last weekend there, we attended the Bar Mitzvah of a good friend's son in San Jose. The whole weekend was a lot of fun - particularly so because the host and his son are both professional comedians. Watch this video of Josh Applebaum, the 13-year old honoree, perform in front of Robin Williams! You can hear Robin Williams laughing in the audience. Very distinctive laugh!

Last Thursday, I held a presentation at Nathan Hale Elementary School in Schaumburg for a group of parents who have children with autism. They gave me such a kind reception; I am so grateful for their generosity. Afterwards, more than half of the parents who attended requested a planning session to discuss estate planning! I am always gratified when I can help motivate parents to take charge of their child's future.

If your parent group or other organization would like to schedule a presentation, please go ahead and call Gloria at 630-871-8778 to discuss or go to http://www.teplg.com/SpecialNeedsPresentationRequest.

Finally, I met with Monika Pandya at CoACH Care Center in Naperville, IL this past week. This month's feature article is all about the loving service they provide to medically fragile kids transitioning from hospital to home. Their name is changing soon from CoACH Care Center to Almost Home Kids™.

Hope you enjoy learning about this fabulous resource in the Naperville, IL community!

2009 (c) The Estate Planning Law Group.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include everything in quotes with it: “2009 ©The Estate Planning Law Group. Written and edited by Kirsten Izatt. Kirsten’s mission is to ensure that the parents of children with special needs have the information and resources they need to build a fortress of protection around their child that will last a lifetime. Get her revealing, enlightening, and sometimes even humorous “SNAP” e-zine at www.SpecialNeedsAllianceProject.com.”

Getting Divorced? Vital Info About Your Estate Plan

If you've already got an estate plan in place and you are going through a divorce, you've got some steps to take because no matter how you cut it, divorce has a major impact on your estate plan. I hate to tell you that because I know that the last thing you want to think about in the middle of your divorce is your estate planning and yet, it's critically important unless you want your ex to end up with control over all of your assets if anything happens to you.

Yep, that's what could happen if you don't address your estate planning as part of your divorce ... your ex could end up with everything or at the very least in control of everything.

For most people going through a divorce, this is the last thing they want. It certainly was for me!

To make sure this doesn't happen, you need to revamp your estate plan and create a new Will, Trust, Powers of Attorney and Health Care Directives during your divorce and not wait until afterwards.

Revamp Your Estate Plan During Your Divorce Or Your Ex Could Get Everything (including control of your medical decisions!)

Here's the truth: if you are in an accident during your divorce, it's your soon to be ex who will be making your health care decisions, who will be in control of your money, and will inherit everything if you die unless you have new documents drafted.

Your estate planning lawyer should be one of the first calls you make when you file for divorce.

Unless the court restricts your ability to do so, while your divorce is pending, your estate planning lawyer can prepare a divorce Will (a temporary Will that ensures your soon to be ex won't inherit from you if you die), create a new Trust to receive the assets that you will receive after the divorce is final and update your health care directives and powers of attorney. One thing to be careful of though is not to move any of your assets into your new Trust until after your divorce is final or until your divorce lawyer gives you the go-ahead.

Once the divorce is final and you know which assets you are receiving, you should then revisit your estate planning lawyer and get a new plan in place that will be established to cover what you have been given as part of the divorce and help you plan for your financial future.

Change Your Beneficiary Designations

You also want to make sure to review all of your beneficiary designations after your divorce. This is absolutely critical and often overlooked. And, you need to do it even if your divorce agreement says your ex won't receive any benefits. If you don't change your beneficiary designations, your agreement may be superseded!

There's actually a case pending in the United States Supreme Court right now about this very thing. Husband and wife got divorced and husband never changed his beneficiary designation on his pension account. Then, Husband died. The pension administrator paid the benefits to his ex-wife, as indicated by the beneficiary designation. Husband's daughter from a prior marriage sued for the benefits claiming that the ex-wife had given up her rights to the pension in the divorce agreement. The first Court heard the case and agreed. The appeals Court heard the case and disagreed, saying that the beneficiary designation trumped the divorce agreement. Now, the final answer will come from the Supreme Court.

You don't want to put your family through this. So update your beneficiary designations.

Review Your Life Insurance Provisions.

If you have any kind of a requirement in your marital settlement agreement that life insurance should be maintained on the life of either spouse for the benefit of the children, you should have this provision reviewed by your estate planning lawyer.

We've seen so many provisions like this that are just not well thought out. For example, a provision that says "Husband shall maintain life insurance having an aggregate death benefit of $250,000 for the benefit of the minor children" sounds great, right? But, this is just the kind of provision that provides no protection for the minor children at all.

How long does the insurance have to be maintained? What type of insurance has to be used?

Can Husband just get a cheap one year term policy that needs to be renewed each year?

What if he gets ill and becomes uninsurable? Who should be the beneficiary of the policy?

An effective provision should provide the type of insurance and the minimum length of time it must be in force, specific ratings requirements for the insurance company and whether the policy should be in trust or payable to a trust. Your estate planning lawyer can help to identify these issues where even a very good divorce lawyer may overlook them.

Bottom line ... your divorce has real, meaningful implications for your estate plan. I know it's not something you want to think about and yet if you don't, you and your family could end up very, very sorry you didn't..

© 2008-2009 Alexis Martin Neely

Written by Alexis Martin Neely, mom, writer, speaker and Personal Family Lawyer®. Alexis makes it super easy for your family to talk about and plan for sticky subjects like money, death and taxes.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include everything in quotes saying, for example, "Written by.." with the author's name.

© 2009 The Estate Planning Law Group.

Bill and Kirsten's mission is to make the world a better place by providing a lifetime of ongoing guidance and counsel to people who want to make the very best decisions about how to plan for and protect their families through estate planning. Get their revealing, enlightening, and sometimes humorous "Family Wealth Builder" e-zine at www.FamilyWealthBuilderNewsletter.com.