The Estate Planning Law Group

Should You Do Dangerous Things When You Have Children?

The other day I was watching a special edition of Man v. Wild, where Bear Grylls, the popular host of the show, decides to take on the challenge of being the first person to paraglide over Mount Everest. Yes, Everest! We are talking 30,000 feet above sea level, very little oxygen, and temperatures at 40 below zero!

There are a lot of adventure programs on TV these days, but what struck me about the show was when they interviewed his wife, and she said that the thought of having her husband gliding above Everest filled her with "horror." Cut away to Bear's two adorable little boys, who stayed home with mom while Bear went off on his adventure.

I am pretty sure that when Bear goes off to work both he and his wife want to make sure that he makes it home so that he can be a Dad to his two boys. As Bear puts it: "There is no use in being a dead hero to my two boys." His thoughts aren't something that most parents think about with respect to their work, but certainly something to think about if your work includes paragliding over Everest.

If you have young children, should you not do dangerous things? If you were to die doing something that you loved, but your children were deprived of having a father (or mother), did you make the right decision?

Former members of the British special forces aren't the only ones who have to ask themselves these questions.

A few years back my brother, who had a baby and a toddler at the time, was asked by a navy pilot training instructor to take a spin in his fighter plane. When he told our parents that he wanted to do it, the first thing my Mom asked was "Do you have life insurance?", and my Dad (a former WWII fighter pilot) asked "Do you have a will?" and "Are you sure you really want to do that? You have to think about your kids."

In the end, of course, Bear succeeded in paragliding over Everest, and my brother went up in the plane, with his wife videotaping the whole experience. My brother and his wife were glad he did it, and I am sure that Bear (and the television crew) were glad that he didn't give up on his goal.

Despite all our efforts to make life safe, there is risk, and if you are lucky enough to have a passion for something in life, there is something to be said for not giving up on it--even if it is risky, and even if you have children.

Here's my solution: continue to do things that might be risky (so long as you have a passion for it and a high level of skill) but reconsider doing something that is foolhardy. For example, I would be foolhardy to try anything that Bear does. I don't have a passion for these kind of high adventure activities (although I do love hiking), and I certainly don't have any particular survival skills. So, is Bear being foolhardy? I don't think so. He has a high degree of both passion and skill.

Likewise, I am glad that my brother took the flight on the navy jet. After all, an incredibly experienced pilot was in charge. On the other hand, if my brother had been the pilot, that certainly would have been foolhardy!

~ Kirsten Izatt

Do You Like Lawyers?

Yesterday there was an article in the New York Times discussing the boom in online estate planning through programs like the Suze Orman will and trust kit and Legal Zoom. The article profiled several parents who knew they needed a will so they bought commercially available programs to do their own program.

A featured couple in California spent all of $ 17.99 to protect each other and their two preschoolers, stating that they weren't leaving anything to charity, and they "just need something written down." Another man stated that he "didn't like lawyers" and thinks they are overpaid.

As a Personal Family Lawyer, I provide parents with the guidance they need so that they can make the best possible legal decisions for their families. I am also acutely aware of people's desire to turn planning into something that they can do themselves--quickly, easily, and cheaply.

These types of articles always make me think about the value we provide, and I have to ask whether our fees are justified because I am not about to charge thousands of dollars for work that parents can do themselves in half an hour for only $ 17.99.

I have a lot of thoughts on this topic (because really it goes to the value that we as lawyers provide to our clients), but one thing I know for certain . . .

I have never (ever) reviewed a do-it-yourself plan that someone has brought into our office that accomplishes even close to what the person hopes to accomplish. In many cases, the person has made decisions that make them and their loved ones even worse off then before they did the plan.

Here are some commons mistakes:

• A recently divorced man named his estate as the beneficiary of all of his retirement assets (in this case, a mistake that would have cost his beneficiaries hundreds of thousands of dollars)
• A perfectly valid will that did NOT control ANY of the money in the parent's estate (which would have resulted in court intervention in the children's lives for years plus thousands of dollars in unnecessary legal fees, bonds, accountings) 
• Limiting the scope of the will only to assets specifically listed in the will (and the assets listed no longer even existed)
• No plan to minimize estate tax because the couple didn't even realize they had a taxable estate (the article suggests that estate tax is not an issue for couples who have combined estates of less than $ 2,000,000, but I completely disagree with this analysis and don't follow this rule when planning for estates under $ 2,000,000). Not understanding how estate tax really works could cost your family hundreds of thousands of dollars!
• Complete failure to provide any contingency planning if a beneficiary predeceases or is incapacitated
• Guaranteeing that minor children will be placed in foster care while permanent guardians are appointed (this can be totally avoided)
• Creating a trust for minor children but not setting up the plan so any money actually goes into the trust (this is the number one biggest risk that parents make who try to do do it yourself planning)

I could go on and on, but I won't.

Bottom line: if you have minor children and assets (including life insurance), planning with a do- it-yourself will is an incredibly expensive way to plan because it pretty much guarantees that the courts and lots of lawyers are going to be involved in your family's life and the life of your children for years following your death--for guardianship proceedings, guardianship estates, bonds, court costs, fees, accountings, and litigation. Yuck! Who wants that for the people they love the most?

Estate planning is about more than creating a set of documents; it is about making the best legal decisions for your family. There is a world of difference. The do-it-yourself kits make it easy for you to create documents; they don't help you make good legal decisions or provide you with a trusted legal advisor who can assist your family during one of the most difficult times in their life.

Just a little friendly reminder about the difference between signing some documents and getting the advice you need to make the best legal decisions for your loved ones.

~ Kirsten Izatt

   

What the Heck is a Momference?

Ever attended a Momference? I sure haven't, but I just got an update from good friend Jeff Applebaum who will be one of the speakers at a teleconference just for moms--aka the "Momference."

Apparently, Momference is the first-ever live weeklong tele-conference for women at all stages of life and motherhood. The conference organizers explain that you can discover how to live a more satisfying life, reach your personal and career goals and tackle the challenges of parenting—while being a great mom!

(If they have the answers to all those issues, I really will be impressed!)

This week-long event gives you access to experts in parenting, career, relationships, home, self-care and more without the hassle of parking, commuting or getting a babysitter! Listen live on your telephone, or download the audio and listen when you’re in your car or after the kids are in bed. Register now and get access to all the great Momference extras like articles, contests and bonus prizes! Click here to register.

~ Kirsten Izatt

Big Blessings in Little Packages

We haven't had expanded cable TV in about five years although we used to have it when the children were very young. Now that our daughter is a pre-teen and desperately wants to be able to watch Hannah Montana, we decide to get expanded cable again. It was installed this weekend and after only three days of the phones not working because of the installation (gotta love Comcast!), we are back to normal.

So, for the first time in years I sat down and actually watched a TV show that wasn't numbered 1 to 19. After seeing OJ in the news again (the first time around I was in law school), I stumbled upon a program about the Duggar family.

They raise their 17 (or is it 18) children in northwest Arkansas in a huge home built by the father--Jim Bob--and the older boys. Michelle and her husband view their children as blessings from God and are ready for more. They even have a fascinating website explaining exactly how they do it.

I will make a confession: before I had children I would have looked at this family and been extremely judgmental. "Too many children, can't give them enough attention, too much money, not enough individuality, etc. etc."

And, from what I have read on the Internet, there are a fair number of people who haven't hesitated to post some pretty scathing criticism of the Duggar family.

It is easy to be judgmental before you have children. Now that I have two, I wouldn't dream of it. I don't know how it is for other parents, but raising children has given me an extra dose of humility--as well as an appreciation for anyone who can raise happy, healthy, respectful children who love life and have cultivated an attitude of gratitude.

It isn't easy for any parent.

Michelle Duggar and her husband deserves five stars.  I think that they are doing just fine.

~ Kirsten Izatt

My Final Battle with Nintendo

Last year my daughter won a free Nintendo DS at school during a raffle. Before the winner of the raffle was announced, I noticed that there were about two dozen boys clustered around the announcer when the Nintendo DS came up.

There was a collective AWWWWWW from the boys when my daughter won. It was clear that they didn't think that she would fully appreciate the precious treasure that was handed to her.

They were right. She wasn't that interested. She did play with it a little, but she pretty easily handed over control to her younger brother.

He loved the Nintendo DS and quickly became addicted. In fact, he would never stop playing--at least not voluntarily. When he wasn't playing, he would beg to play with his new toy. He spent a lot of time sulking in his room and throwing tantrums when we wouldn't allow it.

Finally, we had enough. We decided to do battle against the Nintendo. We took it away from him and made him quit cold turkey. Guess what happened?

It took two months until the complaining stopped or at least was minimized to a tolerable level. Then--a miracle occurred. He started reading. Lots--for hours every day. We couldn't believe it. He attacked the Magic Treehouse books with a passion and started telling us interesting things he had learned about the Eiffel Tower and the San Francisco earthquake. 

It wasn't easy, but it was worth it. Do you have a child who is addicted to technology and hasn't read a book in months?

Consider taking away the addictive device and steel yourself for a battle. You might just win it.

Best of all, your child will be the true winner.

~ Kirsten Izatt

P.S. The picture isn't of my son, but the look is the same. If you have a young boy at home who loves hand held video games, I am sure you have seen the same look.

What Makes Me Break out in a Sweat

If there is anything that makes me break out into a sweat, it is the thought of going to take pictures--particularly with my kids. Kids are fickle when it comes time to take pictures. When they are babies, you can't stop them from smiling. They aren't self-conscious and will smile at just about anything. No wonder all those baby pictures look adorable!

Then things change. Older children become self-conscious and can't even break a smile without bursing into laughter--or they smirk. Although some kids (and adults) are naturals in front of the camera, most aren't, and it takes a great photographer to bring out the best in everyone. That's why I am so happy to tell you that we had a great experience with Todd at Expressions Photography in Glen Ellyn. He pulled off a miracle with my two kids this past Saturday and captured about 30 mommy and kid photos as well as a couple of head shots that I can use in my business.

Some of the photos will be used in mailers that we will be sending out to the community. You will certainly see more of them.

My daughter is excited about this because she wants to be famous. Don't all 10 year olds? Thanks for letting me share.

~ Kirsten Izatt

P.S. To learn more about protecting your children and your wealth go here.

When Did You Become a Mother Bear?

I woke up today to the news that a major interstate highway had collapsed into the Mississippi River.

I know the location well. Right after I graduated from law school I moved to Minneapolis to begin a judicial clerkship. We lived in downtown Minneapolis during my clerkship and were quite close to the river. I frequently walked over the bridge to get a better view of the river and would watch the mighty Mississippi roll by.

Four months after we arrived in Minneapolis, my daughter was born. As I recall, October was beautiful that year, and I loved to walk around with her snuggled on my chest.

One day, I walked onto the bridge with my baby girl and looked down into the river. I stared for a few seconds--awed by the strength of the river. Suddenly, I was overcome with emotion because I suddently knew, with utter certainty, that I would do anything, absolutely anything, to protect my daughter if she was ever in danger. I instinctively stepped back from looking down at the water because I felt that it might be dangerous. It wasn't really, but that is how I felt. If by accident she fell into the water, I wouldn't hesitate to go after her.

So, for the mothers (and fathers) of course who lost their children to the river yesterday, my heart goes out to you. I imagine that you wish you could have been there to protect them.

~ Kirsten Izatt

What's The Matter with Your Life Insurance?

Answer: Probably whoever you have named as a beneficiary.

Remember when your first child was born and all of a sudden you realized that you probably needed to get some life insurance?

Then you went out and bought as much as you could afford, and you probably named your spouse as the beneficiary. So far so good. Then you probably didn't know what to do next so you named either your estate or your minor child as the contingent beneficiary.

Oooops!!

If you have a minor child named as the beneficiary of your life insurance (or retirement account), it is time to rethink your decision.

By naming a minor child as a beneficiary, your just subjected all that money to a court-supervised guardianship proceeding until your child turns 18.

What's the matter with doing that? The court will be involved (with all the costs, fees, expenses and court-imposed bonds that go along with that). The result? Less money for your kids. Plus, when your child turns 18, everything will go outright to your child--that means without any restrictions or supervision.

If your child has special needs at age 18, he or she won't be eligible to receive governmental benefits because the child will have too much money in their own name.

Is that what you want? Probably not.

Who should be the beneficiary of a life insurance policy when you have minor children?

Your living trust. It's the only way to make sure that YOU are in charge and not a judge.

~ Kirsten Izatt

P.S. Learn more about protecting your family and your wealth by clicking here.               

Do You Want to Make Money for Your Nonprofit?

If you run a nonprofit organization that serves parents of minor children (including special needs groups, preschools, elementary schools, or other parent support groups, consider holding a special kind of fundraiser you can conduct in conjunction with our law firm for the parents of your group.

The best part of the fundraiser is that you can raise money for your group while providing an EXTREMELY valuable service to the parents in your group.

If you are anything like me, I am sure that you have attended many great fundraisers over the years, but most of them take an incredible amount of work to pull of successfuly. I certainly know! I chaired the annual fundraiser for the Wheaton Newcomers' Club in the fall of 1999 when I was pregnant with my son, Matthew. It was loads of fun, but I was sure glad when we were done.

If you want to try something different, call Sherry DiSantis, our Events Coordinator, at 630-871-8778 to find out what we can do for your group.

~ Kirsten L. Izatt

What in the World is a Kids Protection Plan?

Whenever I meet with parents who have minor children at home I ask them to consider what might happen to their children in the immediately following hours, in a practical way, if the parent doesn't make it home from the meeting.

What would their babysitter do?

Most parents have not asked themselves this question. That's not unusual, and that is why I make sure to ask.

Unlike a lot of parents, I do think about this issue. As a mom with two children in elementary school and as an estate planning attorney, I think about it a lot. That's why I wanted to make sure that our law firm provides parents with the protection their kids need in the event of a parent's incapacity or death.

For parents who want to protect their children, our Kids Protection Plan allows you to design and implement a comprehensive plan for the care of your children in the event the unthinkable happens to you.

More specifically, the Kids Protection Plan will give you the peace of mind of knowing your caregiver would know what to do if something happened to you. Your caregiver would call people named by you who are most well-suited to comfort your scared children and who have the legal authority to do so. The people you've given legal authority to would would have clear directions from you as to just what they should do to make sure your children are never taken into protective custody by the Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS).

This written plan ensures that your precious loved ones will be raised by the people you've chosen. And, you'll be absolutely sure that someone you would never want raising your children would never have a chance of challenging your decision.

~ Kirsten L. Izatt